A Decade Without Jamie

How can I even introduce and describe Jamie? She was and will always be my “big sister”, though she was just five years older than me. She is my older sister that my family lost on this date(May 18th) in 2010 to cancer. While talking about her last night, I found it hard to believe that we have been without her for 10 whole years – an entire decade. Anyone who has experienced a loss such as this one can probably relate to the feeling of disbelief at how quickly time seems to fly after. After launching this blog a few days ago, I planned to write an entry in her memory today, as she was one of the many music lovers in my family that I mentioned in my featured entry: Introduction: Why I Created This Blog and What Comes Next.

The introduction also includes an explanation of the name of my blog, which as you know is Music & Me. I identify with the Michael Jackson song of the same name, and I really feel that the song explains my late sister Jamie’s relationship with music too. The song has become that much more meaningful to me since she passed away. She absolutely loved music; she was that person in the family who had an unbelievably extensive music collection. If there was something that any of us wanted to hear and didn’t own, it was almost a given that she had it in her possession. We were always in her room looking to “borrow” something: a cassette single or album, and later, CDs. She was that way for as long as I can remember. I was introduced to so many artists and songs, thanks to her. A great deal of the material that I love and will in turn mention in this blog are a result of something I picked up from Jamie. This blog may very well not exist if not for her.

Jamie was diagnosed with cancer at the age of two, and according to an anecdote that my father told from time to time, she sang Michael Jackson’s “Beat It” while lying in a hospital bed when she was all of maybe two and a half or three years old (this would be circa late 1983 or early 1984; Jamie was born in February of 1981). Jamie continued to battle cancer off and on throughout her 29 years of life. I now believe that music was her solace, one of her best friends, a way to express herself, and a source of comfort through all of her medical ups and downs. She also lived her life to the fullest; therefore, a lot of awesome music added excitement to the many good times that we enjoyed throughout her life. This entry will essentially highlight a few of her favorite artists and songs, as well as a song that I hold dear because of her.

With all of that, I will end this entry with the words from the interlude entitled “Memory” that precedes “Together Again” on Janet’s The Velvet Rope album: “You don’t have to hold on to the pain to hold on to the memory.” Now that 10 years have passed since Jamie left us, the pain is less severe, though it still exists. However, I find it easier now to basically exhibit that quote. I will continue to hold on to Jamie’s memory through the music that we loved so much, and less so the pain of her loss. Continue to rest in peace, my sister. Love you forever and a day!